Vox Pop – Social Distancing

Our socially-distanced reporters bravely hit the streets, once again. to ask the Great British public what they think:

Today’s question was “Should we reduce the recommended social distancing target from two metres to one metre?”

Lucy Nguyen, 31, computer programmer, Gloucester:  I wear a face mask so I don’t have to worry about other people.

Tom Atherton, 63, taxi driver, Uttoxeter:  If I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure what a metre is.  A yard and a bit, is it?  Why don’t they do it in feet and inches? 

Edna James, 49, shoplifter, Tipton:  We had a referendum, didn’t we?  Just get on with it, Boris!

Adil Khan, 29, market trader, Tamworth:  I’m sure there’s an ideal distance but it’s a bit weird if it’s an exact number of metres.  Maybe the right distance is, say, one point seven eight metres.  Why not just use that?

Graham Jenkins, 55, train driver, Doncaster:   I don’t get these metric measurements.  When Nigel finally gets us out of the EU, we can go back to using chains and poles like proper people.  Until then, people will keep dying because of bloody Napoleon and his silly, foreign measurements.

Mary Winchester, 72, retired traffic warden, Torquay:  Well, I think they’ll have to.  There aren’t many pavements that are two metres wide, are there?

Alton Ainsworth, 43, veterinary surgeon, Aberdare:  Whatever it takes to get the pubs open, mate.  I’m gagging for a pint.

Eileen Connor, 47, hairdresser, Birmingham:  I’m past caring.  I can’t cut someone’s hair from one metre away any more than I can do it from two metres.

Jeremy Scott, 57, entrepreneur, Godalming:  I agree with Mr. Jenkins (above).  Johnny Foreigner’s got a lot to answer for over this metrication nonsense.  And don’t get me started on straight bananas!