The UK government, faced with crippling rises in ferry fees across the river Styx, has come up with an innovative solution. Britain will become the first nation in history to privatise its Underworld operations and literally create Hell on Earth. Britain had, since time immemorial, paid a fee of two pennies per soul to Charon, …
Where’s Moggy? Our fantastic new competition is here! Our lord and saviour, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the right honourable something or other for the 16th Century has taken to hiding himself in the pages of The Daily Distress. He thinks that this is the last place that people will look now that hiding in a fridge has …
Various books have been removed from the Bible over the centuries for all sorts of reasons. The Protevangelion, for example, was removed because nobody was quite sure how to pronounce Protevangelion. The Book of Enoch got the chop due to a copyright dispute with the makers of Battlestar Galactica. The two Books of Maccabees were …
An influential “think” tank has revealed plans for post-Brexit Britain to get its own uniquely British version of the irritatingly international NATO phonetic alphabet. The entirely unelected and unrequested group, Phobos, have declared that the days of “alpha, bravo, charlie” are due to end. The leader of Phobos (the paramilitary wing of The Bullingdon Club), …
Sod NATO, Britain’s Got a New Phonetic Alphabet Read More »
Could Barnstoneworth be set to declare its independence from the UK? The Barnstoneworth Independence Party and their leader, Jack “Wolfy” Ramsbottom hope so. In an exclusive interview with The Daily Distress, Ramsbottom tells us how a dispute with the Yorkshire Cribbage League could develop into a seismic wave that will strike at the heart of …
Barnstoneworth Independence Party Read More »
GB News Minus One is set to become the world’s first “minus one” channel. In recent years, we have become used to “plus one” stations such as ITV3+1 and Dave Ja Vu which allow us to see programmes that were broadcast an hour previously, but the dream of pre-emptive broadcasting is one that has eluded …
GB News to Launch GB News Minus One Read More »
