Light-hearted stuff, general daftness and funny stories in English settings. Or so it seems, some of these stories are made up and some of them are true. We’re not going to tell you which is which.
The Daily Distress accepts no responsibility for anything that happens if you are daft enough to follow any of its advice and denies all knowledge of anything that it has ever printed.
Since his tragic abduction by aliens, people can’t get enough of Trevor Scroggins, former member of the Blowfish Boys. Tributes to the tuneless tambourinist have been flying in from all over the world. World Leaders Come Together Donald Trump tweeted “Big shame about Scroggins. HUGE SHAME! I wish it was FAKE NEWS! Biden’s fault. No …
It’s Scroggins Mania! Read More »
Trevor Scroggins, singer and lead tambourine player with generic boy band The Blowfish Boys has finally hit the headlines. The band, who formed in 2015, have completely failed to trouble the pop charts. A succession of anodyne, saccharine-coated singles have failed to impress critics and fans alike. Their debut album “Sushi Chops” has frequently been …
Z-Lister Abducted by Aliens Read More »
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have announced that that their next gig will be their final one. In an open letter to the music press, lead vocalist Death said: We’re sorry to say that Conquest, War, Famine and myself have decided to call it a day. We’ve had some great times over the course …
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Quit Read More »
The Sol Super Cup may have lost some its glamour since the introduction of the Interplanetary Champions’ League but the competition still has the ability to produce some mouth-watering ties and we have some crackers lined up for the quarter finals. Dynamo Afekan (Titan) vs. Olympus Athletic (Mars) Afekan, seen by many as the rising …
Solar Cup Draw Announced Read More »
Yorkshire Cribbage League Division 12 Play-off Final: Ullesbridge 8 Barnstoneworth 1 Barnstoneworth’s slender promotion hopes were finally extinguished last night as The Worthies stumbled to an embarrassing defeat at the hands of newly elected Ullesbridge. What had been predicted to be a close encounter soon turned to farce as Worthies skipper, George Sattersthwaite, was skunked …
Barnstoneworth Miss Out Again Read More »