Our utterly intrepid, prizeworthy reporters return to the streets to ask the Great British public what they think.
Today’s question was “Should drive-through restaurants be made to print the customer’s registration number on their food wrappers to help trace litter?”
Mavis Tring, 92, retired housekeeper, Godalming: Yes! I think that’s a delightful idea. If anyone loses their food, someone will be able to find out whose it is and take it back to them. It might be a bit cold by then but they can always put it in the microwave.
Darren Gibbs, 18, little scrote, St. Mary Mead: Screw that! They always know that it’s mine but they can’t prove nothing, can they? Let’s keep it that way.
Edna James, 49, benefit fraudster, Tipton: We had a referendum, didn’t we? Just get on with it, Boris!
Quentin Morris, 46, travelling salesman, Norbury: Oh yes! Let’s have another go at the honest motorist, shall we? First it was the seat belts, then it was speed cameras and now they want me to carry smelly food wrappers all over the place! Why don’t they just go the whole hog and make cars illegal? They would do, if they didn’t make so much bloody money off us. You know they would. And if one more trendy-lefty, do-gooder has a go at me for parking on the pavement, I swear to God I’ll scream. I pay my taxes and I’ll park where I damned well please. And don’t get me started on potholes!
Cressida Gibbs, 33, professional vegan, Islington: Yes, I think they should, the amount of litter on our streets is disgusting. There should be exemptions for vegan drive-throughs, though, it’s the vile meat-eaters that make all the mess.
Dave the Ferret, 37, new-age traveller, Tewksbury: I don’t like litter so I do get it, but my dog pretty much lives on discarded kebabs so it’s hardly going to be fair on him, is it?
Paul Hollingsworth, 38, care worker, Aberystwyth: It’s a start, I suppose, but I can’t really see the police enforcing it. Maybe it would be better if they printed their addresses so we can go round and sort them out, ourselves. Make them eat a few of those polystyrene boxes and they’ll soon learn not to fling them around the place.
Chardonnay Ferris, 23, full-time mother, Worksop: Oh, yes, that’s brilliant isn’t it? Fine me every time one of my kids chucks something out of the car window? That’ll help, won’t it? It’s not like any of their so-called fathers will chip in and pay the fine, is it? When you think of all them illegal immigrants and that – why aren’t there any laws against them?
Major Aubrey Whittington-White, 67, retired soldier, Chipping Sodbury: You can fine them all you like, but they’ll never learn. There’s just no discipline, these days. A damned good birching is what they need and if there are any young ladies involved, I’ll happily volunteer to administer the punishment, myself.
