If you missed the start of Brit Trek, you haven’t lived. But fortunately, you can catch up here. Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Spiv-ship Enterprise. Its four year mission. To create new billionaires. To siphon-off wealth. And destroy the nation. To boldly go where no bugger has been daft enough …
Brit Trek – The Search for Cummings’ Brain Read More »
UPTV (Unspeakably Poor Television) is proud to present a brand new space opera – Brit Trek! Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Spiv-ship Enterprise. Its four year mission. To create strange new worlds. To seek out new scams. And destroy civilisation. To boldly go where no bugger has been daft enough …
Hi, I’m John Deadwood, MP for some place near Reading. Most of you will know me from my fearless and relentless campaigning for Vladimir Putin, but when I’m not busy ignoring my constituents or spouting crap on Twitter, I’m quite the ichthyologist. Yes, that’s right, I study fish! Being from Berkshire, the sea is clearly …
A Guide to British Fish by John Deadwood MP Read More »
Digby Grimes was an ordinary thirteen-year-old boy. He had greasy hair, an abundance of spots and he stank to high Heaven. Apart from an unhealthy fixation with fish, everything else in his life was perfectly normal. Just like any other boy, he was seen as an inconvenience by his parents, and as an infliction by …
The Life and Times of Digby Grimes Read More »
Hi, I’m Chloe Molloy-Timpson, and it’s a pleasure to share my life with you. Normally I’d be here to promote my new TV series, Life and How to Live It (coming soon on Netflix) and my new book Calm with Chloe (only £29.99). But in this time of national crisis, I’m here to share some …
How to Feed Your Kids for Pennies Read More »
What did Henry VIII, Count Dracula and George Harrison all have in common? They all lived in castles! Castles are a commonplace sight around the UK but here are a few things that you probably didn’t know about these rather heavily fortified houses. 1There are thought to be around 1,500 castles in England alone. We’re …
9 Things That You Never Knew About Castles Read More »
In a world exclusive, The Daily Distress reveals a government document laying out plans for its new tendering process. Explanatory Memorandum to Procurement and Tendering Act (2020) 2020 No: 1984 Introduction 1.1) The purpose of this document is to outline some jolly important changes to the way that the government spends the taxpayers’ hard-earned cash. …
Government Tender Plans Revealed Read More »
Hi, I’m Lance Flittwit, star of stage and screen. You’ve probably seen me in such classics as The Night of the Giant Hamsters and Skippy Goes to Bangkok. You will have loved my cameos in The Bill and Casualty and may even have caught my legendary performance in The Old Harrovian’s Gang Show. If you’re …
New Political Party Launched Read More »
Rumours are rife that the BBC are planning to revitalise flagship motoring show Top Gear. At its peak, the show attracted a regular audience of more than 7 million viewers but figures are now down to a paltry 2 million. Since the departure of Jeremy Clarkson, James May and that bloke from the Midlands, Top …
Katie Bobbins set for Top Gear? Read More »