Play Mega Trumps for Free!

The Daily Distress is proud to present our top, new, thrill-a-minute card game, Mega Trumps.

It’s quite possibly the greatest innovation in the history of card games.

Do you remember the bad old days when trump cards came in separate packs? There’d be one deck for sports cars, one for boring cars, another for aeroplanes and yet another for cricketers. Not only was it a strain on your pocket money, it was impossible to play one deck against another.

You’d do your best to make up some rules about how to compare goals against engines but Carlton Palmer would somehow beat a B-52 and that just never seemed fair.

Worry no more. Our resident boffins have been hard at work creating a mutant algorithm to solve this age-old problem. This game is so good that we wanted to give it to you free. So here it is – our free and fabulous, cut-out-and-keep Mega Trumps!

Simply print on to a sheet of white cardboard, get busy with the scissors, find a very bored friend and you’re ready to go.

Like all great games, Mega Trumps can easily be customised with a biro (and probably should be).

Here is your all-action Mega Trump Starter Deck. More cards will be coming in future expansion decks and a few rare cards are hidden around the site.

Mega Trumps from The Daily Distress - Ferrari Testosterone
Like its owners, this classic wotsit-substitute is high on speed and big on power but somewhat lacking in other departments.
Mega Trumps from The Daily Distress - Bingo Hall
This former art-deco cinema may look dated but when it comes to seats and doors, it still punches above its weight.
Mega Trumps from The Daily Distress - Desert Orchid
The nation’s Horse of Hearts will be something that we treasure forever. Our scores are based on a wild guess about the , not the statue.
Mega Trumps from The Daily Distress - Eurofighter
Boy! Can this baby shift! Short on seats and hard to access but its power and coolness will win many a hand.
Mega Trumps from The Daily Distress - Lawn mower
You know how you used to get a Triumph Spitfire in your sports car deck? Here’s your Triumph Spitfire. Always rig the deck so that your opponent gets this one.
Mega Trumps from The Daily Distress - Viv Richards
God’s gift to batting will beat just about anyone or anything when it comes to being cool but is bereft of seats and doors.


If you’re not sure how to play trumps, simply ask a passing child.

Super-duper Mega Trumps bonus!

Free Mega Trumps Expansion Deck!